Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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