i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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