Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
