Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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