Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
