What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
