Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
