i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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