so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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