Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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