then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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