So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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