You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
