ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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