well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
