I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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