I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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