So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
