I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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