in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
