Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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