What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
