Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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