explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
