it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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