Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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