I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
