9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You took a bar mat shot.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
