i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
