shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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