I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
