I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
