i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
