..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
