I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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