dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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