My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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