I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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