People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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