he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
