So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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