dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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