It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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