That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
