I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
