Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
