I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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