i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
