My nipple is on Facebook.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
someone owes me an orgasm
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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