My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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