ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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