mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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