Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I could fuck to npr.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
