College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
