i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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