Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
