i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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