The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think my mom watched the whole time
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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