on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
