remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize