there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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