i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.