Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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