i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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