Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
